The “I do”s have been said, the first dance has been danced, and now it’s time for real married life.
For some, this can come across as a bit intimidating and overwhelming. Maybe you are used to living at home with your parents, living with some friends, or living on your own. But now things are going to change.
You have gained your forever roommate.
It’s normal to be a little nervous about this (well at least I hope it is because I was)!
It is my goal to help ease some of those fears you might have, give you some truly helpful hints that I have learned along the way, and invite you into the life of a newlywed.
As my husband and I get ready to celebrate another wedding this weekend I have taken some time to reflect back on our past year of marriage.
Reflecting on the big things and the little things.
The things that were so small but got blown up so large.
The things that were so large but we conquered with grace and a whole lot of Jesus.
I know I am technically considered a “newlywed” still, but I would say you learn a LOT in your first year of marriage. Am I right??
So while all the challenges are still fresh, here are some tips for your first year of marriage! (Some are a little silly but important whereas others lean more towards the serious side. Enjoy!)
Tips For Newlyweds
Keep your Bread in the Fridge
It keeps it fresh longer and we never eat it fast enough since it’s just the two of us.
Go for Walks
Ever day when Logan gets home for work we go for a walk. This allows for conversation about your days without worrying about all the other stuff going on at home (like the dirty dishes, the dinner that isn’t made, or the pile of laundry spilling over).
Make your House/Apartment Feel Homey
Add throw pillows, hang things on the wall (I’m still slackin on this one), buy comfortable furniture, get a couple house plants even. Make it feel like home in your own special way.
Play Games Together
We love Bananagrams. We played pretty much every night for the first three months of our marriage and still love to play when we get a chance!
Lay all your Cards on the Table
During an argument, it can be easy to give each other the silent treatment. We have learned that it doesn’t do either of us any good so we have learned to lay it all out there. Not in a mean way but to say “I feel unappreciated when you mention how I didn’t wash the dishes good enough”. This allows for an apology and the other person knows not to say things like that anymore. I know it is easier said than done!
Spend Time with your Girlfriends
Have a girls night or send him to play golf with his buddies. You will appreciate each other more when you aren’t constantly doing things just the two of you.
Buy a Half Gallon of Milk
Unless one or both of you is a big milk drinker, I highly suggest moving to the half-gallon. I have poured rotten milk down the drain way too many times.
Always Kiss Goodnight
Create a habit of giving each other a kiss and saying “I love you” before you go to sleep. This has helped mend some of our arguments because we know we have to give each other a kiss goodnight, but we don’t want too if we are mad, so we have to talk about it, move on, and give a goodnight kiss.
Create a Routine
The first few months can be hard as you try to get into that routine, but it’s important to create one. Who’s going to make breakfast? What time do each of you need to leave by? Having a routine will help your day go a lot smoother.
Allow for your Husband to Plan Something for you
I am in the works of creating a little project called “Surprise Saturdays” to help with just this! Come back in a few weeks to hear all about it!
Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and many other holidays come with traditions of their own. Create one that is special to you and your new hubby. Maybe you celebrate half birthdays or on Christmas you bake something special together. Find what is right for the two of you that can get passed down if/when you decide to have kids.
Freeze the Fruit that’s Going Bad
We love frozen bananas because we can make banana ice cream with our Yonanas! Comment or email for the super secret recipe!
Listen to Each Other
It seems so simple but when Logan comes through the door I always ask him about his day, but instead of really listening…I think about what I want to say instead. I have had to learn to shut off my selfish thoughts and fully listen to him.
I won’t be the first to tell you that men don’t know what we are thinking. There was a time when I would leave before Logan and I would get home before him as well. I really wanted to come home to a sweet note from him but, it never happened. Until…I told him. It’s as simple as “It would be really sweet to come home to a note from you sometime” or “I really love it when you bring me flowers home after work.” Be honest about your needs and desires. Odds are, he has no idea but would love to do something sweet for you.
Sometimes you or your husband will say something to each other that you wish you could take back. It happens. We are human. Give grace generously.
Stock up on Essential Medicines
You never know when a cold/flu or worse is going to hit, so be ready. Nobody likes going to the store when you feel awful. Get your essentials: Ibuprofen, Acetaminophen, Band-aids, throat lozenges, Tums, Immodium, and whatever else you or your husband use commonly. And know that if he is sick, you’re most likely going to get it too so keep these items in your house!
I know it is tempting to snuggle and watch Netflix every night but every once in a while go out somewhere nice! Have a certain amount of date nights planned a month. I know all the other blogs tell parents to do this, but I’m telling you to do it too! Sometimes us newlyweds forget it as well.
Give it your All
Marriage is a beautiful thing! Start it off by being all in. Be real, be honest, and love fully.
Remember: You are on the Same Team
This is a phrase I so often have to repeat to myself. Half the time I’m like “Why are we even arguing about this?” Remember you are in this together!
Speak Highly of One in Other
When you are out in public talk highly of each other. Do not put each other down or make them look bad. He is your husband. Be proud of who you married!
Of course I had to end with this one! Make time to have fun with each other. Don’t push away fun moments because of deadlines or dishes. Enjoy this time being a newlywed!
I hope these tips were helpful for you newlyweds and that they give you some encouragement. What are some other things you have been learning as you navigate through this first year or two of marriage?